There are many ways to deny flatulence (”not me! it was… the dog, your kids, a gaseous oder from that strange factory”). Or some people try to go for an oscar and act their way out of it: a blank stare into space, a mean glare at a coworker, an intense monologue (”Alan Greenspan did wear a dress but never to congressional hearings… but his underwear choices…”).

Well, there are probably a dozen ways to stop farting (see other posts to come this Fall), but if you want to break wind and just not get blamed, then what you need is a stuffed animal to blame it on. Now I know what you’re going to say, stuffed animals don’t fart. But they could, I mean if you can get a doll that pees, why not a doll that farts? (They could come with various scents to match the pretend meals that you give them). And once your stuffed animal farts, there’s just one more player at the table to take the blame! Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey, who farts all the time.