a few ideas for loving homes with more energy than me

gear

Stealing ideas from Silicon Valley

Patenting ideas isn’t rocket science, take an idea that everyone already knows about, describe it in just a slightly different way (add a bunch of lawyers) and then turn around and sue everybody else for trying to do the same thing.

But what if that sounds like too much trouble…I mean stealing should be easy right. Well now it is! Because with the EZ Steal Eavesdrop machine all you need to do is be around people that are smarter than you but not smart enough to keep their big mouth shut.  So go ahead and become a Silicon Valley big shot or at least eavesdrop on one.

Anti Slouch Seatbelt

Better than a standard seat belt, the anti-slouch elastic belt is a wide, gentle elastic band around the upper body. Nestling you snugly under the arms and around the chest, it holds you from behind, exerting an upward and rearward pressure on your shoulders, helping you stay in a more comfortably upright position against the seat while you drive.

Build it! Somebody build it!

identification derriere (I.D.)

Have you noticed that any modern electronic device that has a remote control is useless without that remote control? If you haven’t noticed that, you probably don’t have kids that hide the aforementioned remote control. So talking about this dilemma with another parent the idea came up, what if your T.V. or stereo had a paging button built in ( just like your cordless phone)? But let’s take it a step further, let’s just get rid of the remote and have your smart electronic device react to you and your preferences, just by you being in the room.

biotush.jpgHow does this happen, the wave of the future: Biometric Ass Recognition — sure there’s already fingerprint and iris scans but were talking about what shows you like T.V. not online banking. You sit, your ass is analyzed, your identity confirmed and with a few simple scans for temperature, spectrometric gas analysis and seat sweat pH, your home entertainment system knows who you are, what mood your in and whether you’re ready for Herbie the Love Bug or a marathon session of Law and Order.

your heart in my pocket

do you have a heart rate monitor? What about a remote heart rate monitor so you can listen to someone else’s heartbeat in real time? What about a little, soft, bio-pod about the size of a plum, that beats with your loved one’s heartbeat? Wouldn’t you love to hold that in your pocket?

That would definitely be a lot better than the stress release boobie squeeze ball.

The Global Morning Muffin Warmer

Yes, climate change can be delicious! Here’s a simple solar muffin and coffee warmer: a window box with a closing door. Place your breakfast cakes or coffee cup in the window box, shut the door, and let the sun get its greenhouse on for a few minutes. Ding! It’s time for warm muffins!

Splash-free toilets

toiletI wonder if there could be an inexpensive, environmentally safe additive to toilet water that would make it non-splashing. Maybe a plant-based substance that forms a thin film on the surface of the water? Then, when “object” is dropped into the water, it is safely carried down to the bottom of the pool, and nobody is subjected to a poor man’s bidet of splashing from below.

I want the news, not the weather!

Sock it to me Nano Style!

my dad knew the secret of always having matching socks – you just buy hundreds of pairs, all the same. with nanotechnology, we should make a universal sock. any sock can mate to any other sock, just by holding it next to the mate. Or, you can choose any design from your little book of sock designs. Swipe the sock over a sock image or sock pattern and sit back and watch your universal sock reorganize it molecules from sports stripes to argyle.

NANO SOCKS!

RFID sock tagging

Orwellian technology brings lost socks togeather, would also be good for keys, wallets, cellphones — if you can loose it –why not track it.

Fun With Pneumatic Tubes

We miss pneumatic tubes. Here are some ways that pneumatic tubes should be incorporated into our lives:

1: at the grocery store. Instead of carrying items to the checkout, you swipe them with your rfid tag that is embedded in your cell phone, then put them in a nearby pneumatic tube. The items are sucked away and collected somewhere nearby, where you can drive by and pick up all of your purchases. Better yet, they go directly to your home, see item 4.

2: pet grooming. Put your pet in, it comes out groomed.

3: laundry. This could be a pneumatic tube, or, frankly, just a plain old tube or big hole in the floor. The advantage of a pneumatic tube is that it allows the laundry to extend past your own laundry machine and possibly go down the street to a friend or neighbor’s laundry machine, where they probably have better detergent options.

4: pneumatic tubes directly between home and preferred vendors. For ice cream, chinese take-out, or that last-minute pepto-bismol.

5: Do you ever think that paypal is a big scam? Use the pneumatic tube to get cold, hard, cash directly to your living room.

stroller rear-view mirror

strollers should have a mirror attached to the front, to allow you to see around corners and into traffic when you are crossing the street. not actually a rear-view, it’s a side-view.

somebody should make one of those.