Have you noticed that any modern electronic device that has a remote control is useless without that remote control? If you haven’t noticed that, you probably don’t have kids that hide the aforementioned remote control. So talking about this dilemma with another parent the idea came up, what if your T.V. or stereo had a paging button built in ( just like your cordless phone)? But let’s take it a step further, let’s just get rid of the remote and have your smart electronic device react to you and your preferences, just by you being in the room.

How does this happen, the wave of the future: Biometric Ass Recognition — sure there’s already fingerprint and iris scans but were talking about what shows you like T.V. not online banking. You sit, your ass is analyzed, your identity confirmed and with a few simple scans for temperature, spectrometric gas analysis and seat sweat pH, your home entertainment system knows who you are, what mood your in and whether you’re ready for Herbie the Love Bug or a marathon session of Law and Order.

Posted: September 27th, 2007 under control, futureNow, gear, time saver.
Comments: 1

do you have a heart rate monitor? What about a remote heart rate monitor so you can listen to someone else’s heartbeat in real time? What about a little, soft, bio-pod about the size of a plum, that beats with your loved one’s heartbeat? Wouldn’t you love to hold that in your pocket?

That would definitely be a lot better than the stress release boobie squeeze ball.

Posted: September 26th, 2007 under futureNow, gear.
Comments: none

Sometimes when I lay my head down on the pillow at night, I feel like I’m in an old-time Kate Hepburn movie where she holds a glass up against a wall to listen to what’s going on next door.  Only.. I really don’t want to listen in on the neighbors’ late-night conversation or the car playing music outside.  It seems that the vibrations in the floor or walls are being transmitted directly through the structure of the building, up into the bed, through the depths of the pillow and into my poor ear that only wants to keep dreaming.

Why not make a sound-isolating pillow?  A pillow made of some really cool, decoupling foam.  I see it as a lot of little chunky foam squares.  Maybe also the pillow emits some white noise of its own too, like a seashell.

Posted: September 18th, 2007 under control, futureNow, sound.
Comments: none

There are many ways to deny flatulence (“not me! it was… the dog, your kids, a gaseous oder from that strange factory”). Or some people try to go for an oscar and act their way out of it: a blank stare into space, a mean glare at a coworker, an intense monologue (“Alan Greenspan did wear a dress but never to congressional hearings… but his underwear choices…”).

Well, there are probably a dozen ways to stop farting (see other posts to come this Fall), but if you want to break wind and just not get blamed, then what you need is a stuffed animal to blame it on. Now I know what you’re going to say, stuffed animals don’t fart. But they could, I mean if you can get a doll that pees, why not a doll that farts? (They could come with various scents to match the pretend meals that you give them). And once your stuffed animal farts, there’s just one more player at the table to take the blame! Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey, who farts all the time.

Posted: September 18th, 2007 under control, public spaces, sound.
Comments: 1

I seem to get a slight thrill of letting the gas gauge go down to “E” but if I had my way I would carry extra fuel in my car in a heartbeat ( and when I mean “my way”, I mean no danger of combusting into a extra large fireball, passing out from gas fumes wafting up from cheap plastic containers and using up all my trunk space with gallons upon gallons of liquid.) So veggie fuel almost makes this dream come true but what I really want is concentrated fuel cubes (kinda like Jell-O shots for your car.) Small, potent and fast acting.

Posted: September 12th, 2007 under almost green, control, futureNow.
Comments: none

Yes, climate change can be delicious! Here’s a simple solar muffin and coffee warmer: a window box with a closing door. Place your breakfast cakes or coffee cup in the window box, shut the door, and let the sun get its greenhouse on for a few minutes. Ding! It’s time for warm muffins!

Posted: September 12th, 2007 under food, futureNow, gear.
Comments: none